Beautiful Women and the the Way They See Themselves
June 26, 2009 in General by Versus
Daily Mail has a really insightful article about 4 attractive women and the shocking images that show how these women see themselves – you guessed, the article is about body dysmorphic disorder. Yes, this is a non-celebrity post, but I found it very interesting (and really sad), especially since it fits with our main topic so perfectly.
Racheal, 27, says:
The way I try to explain it is that while some people have a phobia of spiders, I have a fear of my own face and body. In the same way someone who wants a sex change doesn’t feel like they’re in the right body, I don’t either. But unlike them, I don’t know what body I should be in.
I see my eyes as bulging, yet somehow also sunken with purple bags underneath. I hate my nose, and I also think the right-hand side of my face is different to the left. It makes me uncomfortable if friends even walk on that side of me – I have to switch places. I see my lips as flat, and the top one doesn’t match the lower lip. My neck is too long and makes me feel like a duck, my eyebrows are too high and in my mind’s eye my skin is always covered with acne.
I also developed an eating disorder. I started to make myself sick. For seven years, I didn’t leave the house and wouldn’t be seen without a veil or a mask. I even tried to cut the fat off my legs with a knife and I took an overdose when I was 15.
Cassi, 17, says:
The main problem is my face: in my mind, my nose has a bump and turns up at the end like a ski slope. My lips are too large and I have a pointy chin. My eyes are too wide apart and I wear a fringe to cover my forehead. In short, I don’t like the proportion of my facial features. I see myself as looking like a Picasso painting: my facial features are mixed up and need to be put back together again.
Even having my make-up done in front of a mirror for these photos was an achievement for me. (When) I was 13, I was obsessed with mirrors. I used to pull different faces and scrutinise myself, even eat in front of the mirror, watching myself and how my face looked from different angles. I’d become really anxious when I couldn’t get to a mirror, which was really hard at school. Sometimes I feel very guilty when I see people who are disabled or who have burns scarring on their face. But the truth is that on a bad day I think I look much worse than that.
Check out the complete article that features 2 more ladies at Daily Mail!
Let’s talk!
ohhh .that s not good..wake up ladies and see how beuatiful you are….
Yes! plz, we are literally illing ourselfves when we look beautiful to begin with
i don’t understand how they were able to distort their images to show what they think they look like if they see themselves as looking terrible in the original pictures in the first place.
I don’t think it was them manipulating the pictures, they probably gave really good descriptions to a person that knows how to use that kind of software, and when done the girls could have told them how close the image manipulation was to the image in their minds.
This is so painful to read. BDD is such a devestating, soul destroying disorder, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
I have this.People always say how pretty I am or you should be a model.But all I see is ugly.Like someone said I would not wish this on my worse enemy neither would I.It is like you just want to die when you look in the mirror.
You’re not alone. A lot of girls and women have this. I’m sure several people who frequent this website have this. I’ve had it in the past as well. I’m much better now. Be patient and learn to love yourself and your beauty:)
explain how you got better please? i too have bdd and am seeing a psychiatrist and he has me taking pills that make me feel in a better mood, but i remain insecure.
Everyone deals with it in different ways. I didn’t need medication but I had a good support group. Some of my close friends had the same problem as I did and we talked about it constantly. I also decided to become really educated about it. What I found out is that most people have body image issues now matter how attractive others view them to be.We tend to see the negative aspects of our bodies rather than the positive. When a close friend ended up in the hospital after suffering from anorexia and bulimia that resulted in kidney damage, I woke up. I realized that I didn’t want to end up like that.
What I try and focus on is my health and fitness. If I eat right, exercise and get plenty of sleep, my body looks better. I’ll never look the way I want but I’m not willing to risk my health to obtain something that may not be attainable. But like I said, everyone deals with things differently. My friend that has kidney damage still struggles with her disordered eating and her image. She says she’ll be like that forever and she might. It really is sad.
you’re definitely not alone……..
Reading the article + your comments made me feel like crying because I totally understand that feeling.
All my life I’ve been told how pretty/gorgeous/glowing I am….. and I hate it because most of the time I think people are making fun of me or are trying to act nice because they probably want to get something from me.
This is really sad. I can relate.
me too.
holy crap, she tried to cut the fat off her legs with a knife? this story is so hard to read
i really hope these girls get the help that they need so that they can live fulfilling lives. our appearance shouldn’t be THAT important..
omg i feel like one of those ladies :S i always say to my friends and family how much i hate the way i look, my nose, my skin, the proportions of my body i’m like obsess with that…and they always say to me “shut up are u crazy?” and my girlfriends always say to me “you are crazy! i wish i have you body and face” and stuff like dat… i also had an ED.
now i realize how bad is this :S but anyway i’m not gonna change the way i feel about my appearance.. i just cant :/
Pia, you should head over to my website, I have a post on body image. I think you might benefit from reading it!
If it’s that bad, get help. If all you want is to hear, no that’s not true, everyone wants to be like you, maybe it is not bdd, maybe it’s just you need attention. All these girls need psychic help, b/c i can’t imagine living a normal life with smth so serious. Of course, every woman may have certain insecurities and be more judgemental about certain body parts. I personally don’t like my legs and consider them too thick. I know they aren’t thick in the normal world, but for me, they are.
And also, pia, since you even had an ed, so much more you need to talk to some specialist. Friends are supportive, but since you don’t live smth, you cannot completely understand it and relate to it.
Exactly Pia, this is not just a case of thinking you are ugly when you are pretty. It’s a serious mental disorder that can wreck lives and lead to severe depression, complete social withdrawal, self mutilation, even suicide.
In fact what you actually look like is not really what BDD is about, it’s about the person’s obsession with their appearance to the point where they can’t lead a normal life. Not only do sufferers magnify their physical imperfections (which we all have) but also exaggerate their importance so they might be terrified to leave the house if a hair is out of place….something that seems to trivial to most people can be a huge deal to someone with BDD. It can seem almost like vanity to an observer, but it’s really an overwhelming mental obsession that is incredibly hard to overcome.
I meant Uma sorry.
This is so sad. And that Cassi-girl looks a lot like Scarlett Johansson!
I use to feel like that ,but only about my body.Everyone was telling me what a beauiful body I have and that I am so lucky to look like this but all I could see was ugly arms,ugly stomach,ugly legs,ugly butt,ugly breasts …. I was trying so hard to change it and nothing was working.I became an anorexic+bulimic.I became obsseded and I was eating a lot ,but then I was feeling guilty. I was sayin` to myself ” Of course I look like that if I eat like a pig ” , so, then I was starving myself ,eating like 1-2 slices of bread – I was breaking them in tiny little pieces and counting every each one of them. At a time,I was 46 kg ( wich I think it means 90 pounds ) but I was seeing myself still chunky and ugly. After a few years I started to feel sick.Then sicker and sicker.Every day I was feeling worse.I went to a dr. and I found out I was very very ill ( my disease was very advanced and he said I was lucky I was still alive) . I feel good now,but I will always have to be carefull so the disease won`t come back . The good side of all this is that now I have to eat regulary and healthy – if I don`t do this I feel sick right away – and now I love my body and I see it exactly the way it is.At that moment I was so concerned about my health and life that I forgot to hate myself. It`s a shame I had to get through this to wake-up,but I am so glad I finally did !…
I hope I din`t bored you with such a long story =D
No you didn’t. 46 kg means around 102 pounds. Glad you are healthy, stories like yours should be told out loud because they are inspiring. Good work!
You are very brave for sharing marrina. I hope you stay well xx
thanks!
Thank God I never had body issues like that! This is really scary to read and sad also!
Probably what helped my body image is that I’ve been a professional athlete between 12-15 yrs old and developed a different relationship with my body.
But I do know ladies with this disorder and it is so sad….
i agree. i have my insecurities, and i’ll never see myself as positively as the people who love me do. but i am lucky not to have BDD – it makes my insecurities seem so small. i feel blessed to be able to look at myself and feel positive feelings. bless these sweet women’s hearts (and men’s, as i’m sure some men suffer from it too.)
i have bdd, im glad people are getting it out there. its hard to live with yourself.
Really I hope these are not the same post were we have women breaking down ever part of the celebrity’s body from height to the freakin measurements! it’s no wonder we as women suffer from body issues and I kno there way more important thinkgs in life but u live with ur body and face eveyday it’s no wonder some ppl feel this way
Oh my god!! I feel so like hers, I´m crying all the time, I´ve been bulimic for 5 years, and selfinjury for 3 at least. Some agencys told me to be a model, but all the time I think they are making fun on me, or a joke. I´m so ugly!!! my head is big, my hips…all!!! I´d love to be happy one day…
Hello Mishka!
First of all, are you serious?
If you are I’m very sorry you feel this way
Did you look at the real photos of the 3 girls above? Would you call them ugly? Don’t you think that it’s a pity they don’t realize how beautiful they are? Why don’t you think that to your self too? It’s not a lie that they are gorgeous! And I’m sure you are too.
I don’t know how old you are, but I remember when I was 15 I had some insecurities about myself. I wish I could really help you, I don’t know much, but I’ll tell you this. There is no certificate, no beauty contest, no magic mirror, and no anything that can certify how beautiful anybody is. It’s only up to you.
Everybody keeps telling me that I look better now at 28. But I know I haven’t changed much outside, the only thing that has changed is my confidence, and I think it shows. Next time you look in the mirror focus on your beautiful features. And please try not to be so harsh on yourself, because I believe you are not so harsh on others. I wish you all the best:)
Seastone, thank you for your words! you should be a really nice person!….yes unfortunately all I´d said Its true. I´m still in treatment with doctors and psychiatric but it does not change the fact that I still hate me…..
thank for your SUPPORT! I WISH YOU THE BEST!
Thanks for posting this, Versus. This is a major issue…it IS real…and more people need to know about it!
You’re welcome, Ramie! I thought it was a really interesting and real issue.
I think I have the opposite of this, with my body. I see myself as having somewhat thin slim body, went in reality, i’ve got huge hips. :\
The article is very interesting, and it shows how our own perception is definitely not the best one, and mostly not the one we have to focuse on. I know what I’m talking about, we have to listen to the way the others (friends and family, cause for the rest … just ignore them) see us, it is always so different, and always closer to the truth ! The more you look at yourself in the mirror, the more you’re gonna see yourself in the wrong way, and the more you’re gonna find flaws, here and there …
(i’m not sure if what I’m saying makes sense cause i’m not 100% comfortable with English yet :s)
This is the media’s fault. I feel sorry for the little girls that are growing up looking at all these airbrushed covers and fake images that are portrayed as real. I suffer from a screwed up body image as unfortunately so does my 21 yr old daughter. I wish we as women would take a stand and just say no more… stop buying magazines that find fault with women’s bodies and the ones that alter images that make us feel bad about ourselves. THink of the magnitude.